Day 24 - Mixed bag

It has been a pretty ordinary weekend in terms of how I feel. My face is still uncomfortable and the swelling/sensation fluctuates with irritation (like putting in the elastics). I'm still kind of tired all the time and have been struggling to stay warm (the house was 26 degrees last night and I was huddled under a blanket because the breeze from the ceiling fan was giving me goosebumps). I have been gradually incorporating solids into my diet - I had Smitty's pancakes and a milkshake last night for supper and today I indulged in rice and minced chicken doused in my creamy mushroom sauce. I topped it off with a mini peanut butter cup, which was, to be honest, to die for.

Isabel's birthday party was yesterday. It went really well; the kids all had fun. The cake went over *so* well. The trampoline is an absolute hit. I am pleased.

Today, something kind of crappy happened; Jack Layton, leader of the NDP and all-around inspirational guy died at the age of 61. I wouldn't normally be moved by this sort of thing (the death of a celebrity/politician/whatever), but this has moved me. :(

Anyway, here are the pics.

Day 9 - Home Sweet Home

Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful to my sister and to Jane & Moe for the use of their spaces and even to the Dartmouth General Hospital and especially to my mom for spending more than a week of her vacation this year caring for me. Seriously, she didn't have to and it means a ton to me that she did.
All that said, my friends, I cannot tell you how elated I am to be home. My bed is so comfortable....it might as well be made of marshmallows. My children are angelic and perfect (this will probably last until bed time ;) ), my pets are the most delightful, well-mannered animals on the face of the planet.....you get what I am saying. It is that wonderful feeling of returning to your comfort zone after a time out of it, sometimes, as in stressful situations, WAY out of it.
The kids' reactions were better than I expected actually. Orin had a look of immediate recognition when he saw me, but also a definite sense of hesitation. He toddled right over and kind of coyly, sweetly, quietly asked to be picked up. I put him in my lap and almost immediately, he leaned into me, looked up into my face and smiled. After about twenty minutes, he was running around, plopping in my lap instructing me on the names of all of my belongings and species of animals that we have (he now calls the dog "dog" rather than "cat", people....can I get a Hallelujah!). Isabel was out grocery shopping with her dad when I arrived, so when she came in, she smiled right away, walked over to me, wrapped her arms around my legs and strung this all together, "I won't jump on you, mom. I'll be gentle. I love you so much. I missed you." She's been a right little mum to me, bringing me her friends to comfort me, helping me pour soup, grabbing a face cloth to mop up soup that I got on my shirt. Truly, heartwarming.
As for me, I feel much the same as I did yesterday. This is the first day when I haven't felt that the swelling and feeling in my face haven't changed. The bruising is fading already, which surprised me. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty similar to yesterday. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring with it a little more energy and a little less puffiness in the chin....it just still feels...well...gigantic.
Oh! I tried one of the soups that I bought today....V8 Cream of Broccoli. It is good. It has more substance to it than I was expecting, so I may need to hold off on using the rest for about a week because I can't quite manage the small chunks of broccoli yet, but the taste was really good. I was pretty impressed.
Pics below were taken while resting in my own bed before supper :)

Recap

So for those who remember, this has been a long and winding road. I started seeing my orthodontist in April 2006 after spending the entire Easter weekend with my jaw locked shut. That combined with my sister having successfully come through braces and jaw surgery spurred me into doing something about my jaw problems. So here's a basic timeline (as best I can remember it) of what we've done to date.

May 2006: Began treatment and received a splint to relax my muscles and improve my bite.
**From my understanding, most people have braces on for about a year, the "big" jaw surgery and then braces on for another year. I was going to need the splint in for as long as it took to improve my bite, surgery to split my pallet and an appliance to gradually widen it, braces for about a year, the "big" surgery, braces of another year or more.

Dec 2006: SURPRISE!! A baby is on the way! No changes in anything for a while (they wouldn't even put the braces on to start the work of straightening my teeth. We continued working the splint, which took until after Isabel was born, in August 2007, to complete anyway.

Nov 2008: Bottom braces go on and appliance for widening my pallet goes in, in preparation for surgery on Dec 19th

Dec 17th, 2008: I catch the mother of all flu bugs and they won't perform my surgery :(

Jan 9th, 2009: Pallet-widening surgery is finally completed. Such lovely bruising:

January 10


January 12


January 17


Jan 2009: Top braces go on. I look like this on my 30th birthday:


March 2009: The appliance came off because my pallet was the right width and healed properly.

April 27, 2009: I go for a routine check with my orthodontist and, just as I had since my surgery in January, confirmed that we were still on course for the "big" surgery in the summer. He looked at me like I had 3 heads and said, "Oh, you are still 6-8 months from surgery. I know I must have looked shocked. Because I am a teacher, my plan was to have the surgery in the summer, which meant that I was still over a year away from surgery because I wouldn't be having it done until Summer 2010.

Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe how I felt. We had plans to have another baby right after I was recovered from surgery. This wouldn't be happening for another 1.5 years. That meant there would be 4-5 years between Isabel and her sibling and we didn't want that. Dave and I spent the better part of the next week talking about this and decided to try for another baby right away. If it happened, great. I would just get them to keep me in a holding pattern for a little while longer and have the surgery at Christmas 2010, weaning the baby early and using some vacation time. If not, we'd stop trying in August-September, go ahead with surgery the next summer and play it by ear.

Well, it did happen right away and on June 2nd, I got a positive pregnancy test. On June 7th, I went in to see my ortho and was surprised and...dare I say irritated...when he said that he was going to put in for a surgery date for July or August. I believe my words were, "I don't think you are." He was visibly annoyed by my news, but what the heck did he expect?!!? I have felt "guilty" for extending this to such a degree many times over the last 2 years, but I refuse to do so anymore. He absolutely brought this upon himself.

Anyway, things with Orin were more complicated than anticipated, so there was no way I was weaning him in December since he had only just started eating solids reliably in November. This meant that surgery was, once again, put off.

July 2011: Here we stand, on the precipice of what I expect will be a lot of pain and a lot of distress for me. I am worried how the kids will react. I've tried to prepare Isabel in a kid-friendly way for the fact that I will be going away briefly and will be at the hospital. I've told her that I won't be feeling well when I get back, so she will have to be *very* gentle with me and I will likely be tired. I am not sure what else to tell her. Orin is still nursing once/day (bedtime...monkey). I don't think our nursing relationship will be able to continue beyond my surgery. I am prepared to try if he is interested and once I am well enough, but I am coming to grips with the fact that this part of our life is probably over. Leaves me a little sad, all in all.

That said, I am told that it will be worth it. I am told that the aesthetic improvements to my face and smile alone will be amazing. I am not really in it for that though; I really just want the headaches and jaw pain and struggles with chewing and even hearing sometimes to be done. *fingers crossed*